My New Camera

My writing has been pushed aside a little lately to make space for a photography project. I am participating in my first photography show in February (2009 seems to be a year for firsts). There are two other photographers taking part in the exhibition, which is entitled Nature, Nurture, Woman.

The photography teacher I have been working with, Adriana, took me out one night to start thinking through one of my themes -- nature in the city (the other theme is about my mother) -- and she asked me how I felt about what I was looking at. She asked me to describe how I was feeling and I found the experience quite difficult, even painful. I had felt emotions when taking photos and especially when looking at them printed, but I had never really placed any value on photography as a cathartic, therapeutic, expression of my feelings. It seemed that photography was all about the external world, and that the feelings it triggered in me were not ones generated from within.

Writing has always been cathartic for me. It doesn´t matter what I am writing about. It is the simple act of writing that leaves me feeling at peace. Perhaps with writing it is that I am the one generating the images, creating them and arranging them using my imagination, whereas with my camera I am capturing what is already there (my photos are rarely posed), seeking out compositions that have already been composed and are just waiting to be snapped up.

But Adriana helped me to see things differently. I saw that in choosing to take a certain picture, seeking out the types of places I go to take photos, choosing to shoot in colour or black and white, I am making choices based on how I am feeling. And I now understand why I feel the same sense of peace after a day out taking photos, as I do after writing a poem.

This realization, I am sure, will open doors for me both as a writer and as a photographer.